Torleif
Alyksandr Smith was born Friday night, February 15,
2013, at 11:38PM, to his expecting parents, Heather R. Smith and Zak L.
Smith. Torleif weighed 8 lbs, was 19 1/2
inches, has incredible thick, curly, blonde hair and intense blue eyes, he's
healthy and has a super strong sucking response (nursed for the first time at
25 minutes old), has been eating and sleeping lots. This is his birth
story.
Background
Zak and I planned in February of
2012 to try to conceive a child in mid-May, in order to bring into the world an
Aquarius child. Neither of us are
particularly astrology based in our life, but we had done some looking into it
and based on compatibilities an Aquarius child was one of the top choices for
getting along with us both, and they love Rainbows, which we tend to have a lot
of and also love and some of our favorite people are Aquarians. We charted cycles and conceived Torleif May
17, 2012; it was like a wonderful internal electric storm. We got our positive pregnancy test June 6,
2012.
After having been present for
several of my own mares’ foalings, I got to see how relaxed they all were and
how well their foal’s entrance into the world went, how natural a happening birth
is. I also had the great fortune of
knowing and getting to hear about several other women’s birth stories over the
last two years (hospital, birthing house, as well as home births). Then I came across Ina May Gaskin’s books,
she is an internationally renowned midwife and author on the matter. Reading her words resonated so strongly for
me as being true and right and how we would be bringing our own child into the
world, in a safe environment, stress free for us both, surrounded by those who
love and care about us. And so it came
to be that we opted to home-birth our child.
For anyone concerned, midwives bring oxygen and other safety ensuring
items with them to your homebirth.
Pregnancy
The entire pregnancy went fairly
well, I drank about a gallon and a half of water every day in the first
trimester, was also careful about what I ate, although eggs factored hi in my
diet. Aside from a couple of ‘off’
feeling days following a day I hadn’t drank as much water, I felt fine, albeit
more easily tired. I took a nap most
afternoons, which helped make the rest of the day more productive, helped to
have such a supportive husband who also understood all of the changes my body
was undergoing. The second trimester was
bliss, I was more energetic, active, felt great, resumed a much more active
lifestyle. The third trimester got
progressively less comfortable, I got more and more tired and by the end wasn’t
feeling too gracious about still being pregnant. It didn’t help that the last three and a half
weeks of being pregnant I kept having ‘false alarms’ where I’d get pretty
strong contractions which would start coming more regularly and closer together
and start thinking that was the day, only to have nothing come of it, got to be
very discouraging. Our due date was
February 7, 2013, and as that day arrived and past I admit I was worried, then
angry, and then starting to feel a bit depressed, all normal reactions. I finally just let go of my attachment to our
child’s arrival happening on my schedule (little schedule though I have) and
just settled in to wait, trying to get as much done as I could. Yes, I stayed active, taking lots of walks
with Zak, doing stock chores, house chores, everything I’d done all along. Zak rubbed Wild Carrot’s stretch salve into
my belly, breasts, sides, and sometimes thighs nightly through most of the
second and all of the third trimester, at the end of the pregnancy I’d gained
32 lbs, had no stretch marks and was still hiding our child fairly well inside,
to the point that some people expressed surprise when I mentioned I was
pregnant, let alone a day passed my due date.
I don’t understand that, I did look pregnant, just never really all that
huge, helped having a large frame I think.
The
Day Of the Birth
February 15th, 2013 was a
pretty incredible day in and of itself; actually, it was a gorgeous, cobalt
blue skies, around 50 degrees, gorgeous day.
My Mom came to help with things, so she had thankfully already done the
stock chores earlier in the morning, Zak’s Dad was over to help with some other
projects we are working on, and so I got a paper written, which needed to be
submitted, done during the morning. At
one point I was standing in the kitchen stroking my belly and said to our
child, “whenever you decide to come out is ok, we’re in this together, I love
you, just know the quicker we do this the easier it will be on us both”. In the afternoon, I took the opportunity to
spend time out with my lovely Curly Horses. I thoroughly groomed all of them, asked them
to show off for me, so I could take their pictures (got some amazing photos),
then called them all back over and had an amazing cuddle session with both the
bachelor band and mare band. It was pretty special, they were all very
gentle with me, licking and wuffling at my belly, ducking their noses all
around me, but again, very gently, all of them checked in with me, shared
breath, and then also seemed to do so again with my belly, it was pretty
amazing. I had been having some stronger
contractions earlier in the day, nothing regular though and while out with the
horses what contractions I was having mostly subsided.
Afterwords I came in, processed
through the pictures, started having more contractions, which would stop me for
a moment to take a deep breath, but nothing regular. I headed out with Zak to do stock chores and my
water broke while I was feeding rabbits, it was about 8:30 going on 9PM. I laughed as the water broke, looked up and
said “that was the water breaking!” It felt
like peeing after holding it forever, only I had no control over it and of
course that’s not what it was. I almost
got through the rest of the stock chores before the contractions got to be a
bit too much, Zak escorted me back into the house and the contractions just
kept right on ramping up. I kept thinking I had all this time, I called
our midwife at 9:11 and told her my water had broken and contractions were
about every 2 minutes. She said to call
her back in an hour or if things got more intense. Zak and I headed upstairs to do final set up
preparations, Mom checked in to see how she could help, I asked her to please
feed the boys (the horse we had not gotten to) and maybe call Erica. By the time she got back contractions were
about every minute and very intense. Zak
called our midwife back and said she really needed to get here quickly, as
contractions were coming a lot faster and harder; she lives about 50 minutes
away. I started out just kneeling down
with my arms braced on a chair or the bed, then on the bed, on all fours,
putting my head down on the off moments, and then back up on all fours as the
contractions hit. Zak was so supportive
the whole time, coaching me through breathing, reminding me that the more I
opened my mouth and throat the more the rest of me could open, to just let the
breath and sound out. I was breathing
Very loudly, I can see how many think women in labor are screaming, it wasn’t
screaming though, it was breathing, the hardest, most exerting experience of my
life, and yes painful, but breathing. My
Mom was encouraging me, staying in-front of me, giving me a point of contact as
I tried to blow through contractions, trying really hard to wait for the
midwife to get here. It was pretty incredible, like I could see what was
happening inside. At one point I could
feel Torleif’s head trying to push through my cervix, I said “oh no, the Baby’s
trying to come out, where is the midwife?”
Zak said, no, you’re just pooping (yep, really everything comes out,
although I never threw up, expected to, but never did), Zak thought I meant
their head was actually crowning, I thought though oh no, if that’s all that’s
happening I’m doomed, there’s no way I can keep this up for that long. I really thought I’d be in hard labor for eight
hours or so, but with how fast the contractions ramped up and how hard it was,
not to mention that my arms were starting to shake, I really didn’t know how I
was going to continue that way for a lot longer. And it seemed like the Baby was ‘Right There’
ready to come out pretty fast. Zak
called our midwife back to find out where she was, they stayed on the phone
together until she arrived, she made really good time, driving some odd 80 to
get to us. Zak and Mom alternately were
pushing food and water as much as I could take in between contractions, not
enough though to keep up that intensity.
As uncomfortable as it all was, I am so thankful to have been able to
feel everything, know what was happening, and be able to help direct my body to
what I needed to be doing. At times I knew if I pushed along with the
contraction I would tear and was able to change my breathing to slower,
shallower breath vs other contractions felt good to push to and so I was able
to really open up and actively push along with the contractions. At times my breath exhalations sounded like
singing, it was really amazing, others, yes, sounded bordering on
screaming. I’d been worried that I would
ask our midwife to come too soon and she’d just be waiting around for hours and
hours, as it was our midwife almost didn't make it, Torleif's head was showing
as she came running up the stairs to our room. As soon as the midwife
arrived, she applied pressure to my perineum, it felt so good to have someone
push back against my perineum, giving me a counter to push against; if I’d
change one thing it would be to make sure my birth partners know to do that, it
made a huge difference. Now as the
contractions hit I just breathed hard and loud and pushed with everything I
had, I could feel his head spreading my pelvis so much further with each
contraction, and then him moving inside, helping as best he could to speed
things along. The pressure build was
incredible, very intense. As his head
began to crown I was able to reach back and actually touch his head, so
incredible! Then as his head actually
came out the pressure relief was wonderful, again I was able to reach back and
touch him. And then, thankfully, my body
took a break, I was able to lay my head down for a minute or so and just breath
peacefully. The midwife reassured me the
hardest part was over, now get ready, time to bring the rest of him out, and so
the contractions returned, just as strong, and sure enough, getting the rest of
him out was not nearly as hard as his head, and then with just a few more
contractions, he was out! I sort of
rolled over and Torleif was handed to me, still very purple looking. He let out a little cry and then latched onto
my breast and started nursing, he was some odd 25 minutes old. Torleif and I
both got through the birth just fine, happy, healthy, alert, and very much
present. What an incredible experience! It's been really nice just
lying in bed gazing at this incredible new being, and again Zak has been
incredibly supportive, jumping up to change Torleif or go make us meals.
My Mom has been taking care of pretty much everything else in and out of the
house, which is a huge blessing. I'm looking forward to watching Torleif
continue to unfold and get a bit more active.. Our midwife returned to
check on us two days later, she was amazed at how quickly my body is
recovering, she said obviously I'd taken really good care of myself during the
pregnancy, it was nice to hear her say so. Really, I feel great.
Should gaze less, sleep more, will try to work on that. Torleif continues
to nurse often, unfold and fill in more, seemingly as we watch him.
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